in n out

I used to love reading the kinda trashy fashion magazines of the 2010s when I was younger and would be so very enthralled by the pages decreeing what was supposedly in and what was supposedly out for the season. It was always a carefully concocted array of fashion trends, celebrities, ways of living and I thought, seeing as though we’re in the early days of September, there’s no better time than now to do it. Let us begin.

INS

scare mazes

For those who aren’t aware, I have a very deep, sentimental history with scare mazes. My first ever job was as a clown, aged 16, working on a farm near my hometown which turned into five scare attractions throughout October. It was the most bizarre experience of my life but I genuinely think some of the most fun I have ever had, which is probably why I went back to do it multiple years. I also went on my first date ever with some guy who operated a chainsaw there but that’s a whole other story. I would still do it now if it weren’t for the fact I would regularly lose my voice for the entirety of November following the run, and then also be littered with bruises from getting a little bit too into it. And by getting into it I mean I used to throw myself against the walls to shock people. Anyway, I am just a fan of going to them too so catch me at all of the horror themed motives. Autumn is when I thrive.

overpriced home accessories

Autumn is a time for very few things, which include rewatching Gilmore Girls, buying throws, and novelty mugs, but in order to enjoy each of these in the comfort of your room/home, you need to make it so cosy that you lose all notion of time, space, existence etc. I believe that a key way of doing this is by indulging in more pricey homeware. Do I want a boy smells candle? Absolutely. Will I leave it unlit due to the fact my ocd prevents me from being able to deal with the responsibilities of an open flame? Absolutely. But she’d look great on a shelf.

sabrina carpenter

Don’t think by this inclusion that she hasn’t been in for months, years. But I know you’ve seen the videos of her at the Eras Tour. Need I say more? Probably not, but I will anyway. I could write you a ten page essay WITH citations about why Sabrina Carpenter is the epitome of popstar at the minute, she is everything I aspire to be. I’ve never been too influenced by any one singular person but I am not too ashamed to say I purchased her entire makeup bag. I watched her vogue beauty secrets and I bought it all. She looks amazing, she sounds amazing, she performs like she absolutely knows she’s hot shit. I need more.

brandy melville

Again. Do not be fooled. She’s been in. She’s been in longer than people care to realise and I know I’ve made my jokes; I’ve jested I’ve jibed, declaring that it’s nothing more than a shop for the basic tee and jeans people of this world but when I went to America, I was paying their bills. I have been single-handedly keeping Brandy’s lights on. I want you all to know that I will be going back next week to purchase a cutesy little pyjama set in order to engage in autumnal activities in the correct attire.

tiktok wish lists

There’s been a trend the last week or so where all the TikTok fashion girlies have been showing their autumn/winter/new academic year wishlists and I have watched every single one. Some of them I save for when I’ve got a cup of tea and a sweet treat, and then I go through them and add bits that I like to my own little notes app wishlist and now I just have this long list of things I can’t afford in my phone, or things I never would’ve thought to buy if I hadn’t seen the video, like novelty butter dishes. I will be purchasing said dish.

OUTS

christmas decorations in shops

When can I rest? I’ve barely sucked up the last dregs of summer and I’m having halloween AND Christmas rammed down my throat? Absolutely not. Halloween I can deal with, as that I see as more of a lifestyle than a specific event, given it’s for the fun girls, but Christmas, that can wait it’s turn until November like everybody else. You can’t open up all the festivities in one fell swoop, I prefer to microdose them with a little pumpkin spice one day and perhaps a novelty flavoured malt loaf the next to prolong the excitement.

seasonal depression

I’d say this is more of a manifestation method rather than a definitive out as per. It always happens, post-summer, I’m moving back out to live in London, my anxiety is at an all time high at any moment I’m not writing music. Therefore this is me choosing not to engage with it. Too many important things are happening for us you see, we don’t have time to existentialise or stay in bed. No, we are embracing the changing of the seasons with open arms.

couples

In anticipation of my return to London town I would like to politely suggest that every couple should break up in order to give the rest of us an even playing field to meet people and prevent us from feeling murderous after a Sunday walk down Columbia Road. I just think as we approach what is commonly referred to as cuffing season, we should shuffle things around accordingly.   

ring doorbells

Where is your lust for life? Why do you always need to know precisely who is at the door before you open it? We get very few small delights in life and I do believe one of them is playing the silly little guessing game of who’s at the door. If my little app on my phone is telling me that the DPD man is here, then I don’t get the adrenaline of wondering ‘Is it the DPD man? Or is it a door to door salesman offering double glazing? Or my grandma?’, there’s no panicked run to the door as you wonder will your package come in time, because you’ll know as soon as your doorbell rings. I just don’t think the element of surprise is something I’m willing to give up so easily.

navy sheets

It’s autumn now. Change it up. Say no more.

I hope you enjoyed this silly little list of ins and outs but also just so you know if you like any of the things that are out you’re still cool I’m not an all-knowing source of knowledge (not navy sheets tho that’s unforgivable).